I know, have been told to keep one. Never wanted to spend the time, didn't feel it was worth it. With this latest bout of "we don't know", but sent me home with cipro, prednisone & a new script for the numbness and tics that have surfaced since February.
The 1st two have eased the gut. No more diarrhea, the pain is gone. The numbness has only grown in magnitude. It started out innocent enough. Mostly went unnoticed, in fact. Paid no mind til I'd towel off after showering. Numb on the bottom of my left foot, at the ball. Which progressed to involve the big toe, then the next 3. Not content with that, it spread to the right foot. It was annoying. Akin to having your sock fall down & ball up under your foot and there's not a thing that can be done except right that darned sock... but I'm not wearing socks...
Peripheral Neuropathy, said my head doc. Appears it's becoming a common phenomenon amongst folks with Celiac disease. I'm lucky, he tells me. He's another patient that has uncontrollable had shaking... ok, he's got a point. Wadded up sock feet is a far cry and way less debilitating than that! Poor woman. He sent her to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona, just to find there's no cure for it. There are meds to help alleviate the symptoms...which is what I've now been prescribed.
On the 1st day after this latest doc's visit (which had a whole lot of "i sure wish you had insurance so we could send you to the Mayo Clinic"), it was just the normal worn out tired. Typically by the 3rd day of the steroids, I'm the energizer bunny. I have to be busy. Constantly. I scrub my house from floor to ceiling. Over and over, like I've developed a cleaning disorder. It drives the hubs crazy. He catches me in the kitchen floor with a toothbrush scrubbing the floor as quietly as possible in the wee hours of the morn. I cannot sleep. It's horrible, but at the same time extremely productive.
Day 3 of treatment and the gut pain has ebbed. The numbness that resided in the hands/feet and affected walking with no cooperation from the left leg (dead from the hip down) has traveled. Neither leg wants to work. I spent alot of time crawling about, using the pups (almost 2yr old bird dogs) as leverage to regain footing. It felt as though my torso was on backwards. Awkward, jerky steps at best. Knees buckling. Not a pretty sight, I'm certain. The boa constrictor that moved into my lower back at the onset of this crash 'n burn had decided to expand it's grasp. Pressure increased up to about the 3rd from the bottom rib, encompassing all around, not just playing favorites with the back.
Day 5 brought complete relief from the gut pain, diarrhea gone. Only one problem, the numbness now has migrated along into my chest. Breathing feels odd, light-headedness abounds. Did I forget to mention that I told the doc my tongue was numb? Or that my teeth were numb and felt great pressure? My healthcare practitioner frowned with that news...
By day 6, speech is slurred, walking with a cane. Body numb up to the bottom of my jaw. Lil "tics" happening - the feeling of a spasm, followed by the feeling if drooping. Am I having a stroke? I rush to a mirror as quickly as possible. No, no drooping. What the heck?
Day 7, no energy what so ever. Great effort to peel myself out of bed. Sheer and complete exhaustion accompanied by complete body numbness, muscle spasms. Brain fog, slurred speech, massive dysfunction with all movements. I slithered onto the porch. Trying to find solace in the peacefulness of my back yard. It was not there, despite the flittering of birds and bugs, the soft sounds from the water fall, trees gently swaying in the wind. I was not comforted.
Figured a shower might perk my up a bit. Took over an hour to do. Had to turn the water off & sit in the alcove of the garden tub. This just can't be happening, that's the thought that was running through my muddled brain. I finally emerged, much to the delight of the awaiting pups, cat and hubs. I believe I"m worrying him to an early grave. The helplessness of it all is such a strain on those that surround you.
Day 8, I succumb to the doc's demand that I start the new med - gabapentin. Lowest dose possible, 1 100 mg pill in the evening, increasing til I'm taking 3 per day. Then, if I'm still not better, they will run tests to see where my vitamin & mineral counts sit. Really?? Yes, this is their logic. I take the pill. I've now been on them for 3 days. The numbness is still there. I have spasms throughout my entire body. The most annoying involving my face. I snarl uncontrollably. Having spasms behind my eyes, around my head (which is weird, it's almost like a caress?) I can walk better. Just jerky movements akin to a praying mantis... The speech has cleared, although I still find myself "seeing" the words, yet unable to speak them.
The hands have gone from numbness to somewhat painful. Like lil porcupine quills protruding through the skin. It's like when you've spent way too much time in the water & have "prune fingers, except that it's up the arms as well. Any touch on any body part emits pain signals to my confused brain. I am most unhappy with this latest development.
My joints, ligaments, muscles are all screaming in protest against the dullness. I think I liked the complete numbness much better than this. But, perhaps this is an improvement, the fact that I can feel at all. I've not driven in over 3 weeks. Didn't trust the reflexes enough to endanger others. Has been a most confining experience. No horses to play with, I cannot make it to the pasture to play with them, even if I had the strength. They call to me softly, almost a quiet understanding that I am once again not well.
I miss my life. It's a struggle to see the beauty in all that surrounds. I know it's there, I see it, smell it, feel it. The sadness is it no longer brings me the joy. I snap pictures to capture the flowers in bloom, in hopes of them triggering the memory down the road. I have become most pitiful, I fear.
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