Toxic Love?

The masses of information that I've found in regards to peripheral neuropathy have been mind-boggling and overwhelming.  I am not normally overwhelmed, but this "thing" that is ravaging my body has put me in a different place.

We've not had health insurance in years.  I tired of them raising the premiums every 6 months by at least $100 per month on a policy that was never used.  When it reached $600 per month (just for me and the hubs) about 10 yrs ago, I said enough is enough.  We are healthy, active folks.  Hubs agreed, he's always had a bad taste in his mouth in regards to any type of insurance.  He has strange quirks....

When I first became ill with the celiac and crohn's (no tests to conclude either one, but the strategy seemed to "fix" the problems), he decided we still didn't require insurance.  He was perfectly capable of paying whatever health related bills that surmounted....  I have been waiting almost 5yrs for him to change his mind.

This morning after a most painful nite of mostly unrest, I made the call to him at work.  I'm not a demanding person.  I have been told that I'm "low maintenance".  Don't want or pine for diamonds, fancy clothing, furnishings or trucks.  My house is literally falling apart.  My fences are, the barns - corrals are held together with baling twine and wire... and a prayer.

I told him this morning that he WILL get insurance through his work.  Now.  We shall see if he follows through or lets this "slide" as well.  I cannot get well if I don't know what all the culprits are.  There's a need for a minimum of a battery of blood tests that will exceed $2,000.  Pancreatic enzymes to be tested, magnesium levels, calcium, etc.  "Leaky gut" syndrome to be addressed.  A scope would be nice to see what damage there may be to the intestines so a better plan to help them heal can be procured.

Is my body overrun with candida?  Environmental toxins?  There are times a gal just needs answers instead of relying on hope & faith that things will get better.  I am living proof that these things do not fix themselves.  I can take educated guesses where things are missing, but it's extremely dangerous if one is wrong when it comes to supplementation.  My entire body is out of whack.

MRI's, CT scans, EMG - whatever is deemed most appropriate to see what nerves are being affected with this neuropathy.  Some knowledge of if they are gone beyond repair, or if there's a chance at getting the life I once knew back.

I am tired.  I hurt.  I cannot continue to just "cowboy up" and fake my way through recovery...

Is the hubs my toxic love?  Or am I perhaps over reacting?  I cannot imagine watching someone I profess to love so deeply to suffer through so much, and then go play another round of golf....