What a word, right? If you've been around anyone with diabetes, you associate it with the numbness they complain of in their feet. I am learning that is only the tip of the iceberg in a most unfriendly and up close way.
I spent my Sunday with the new beginnings of pain. Researching the aforementioned disease with some difficulty to the task, I am both saddened and developing a new fear.
While my staggering gait seemed to improve somewhat, the rest of me is falling apart quicker than I could have ever imagined. Sharp tingles of pain surge throughout my hands, fingers, legs and feet. I am awakened this morning at 1:23am. My vision is clear, yet I can feel waves of spasms scouring through my head.
Each touch of fabric hurts my skin. The sheets, the mattress, my clothing. I've the urge to just strip naked in an attempt to alleviate it! Fingers and toes all feel as though they could very well explode at any moment. My knees scream in complete defiance. Calve muscles have joined the thighs in waves of spasms as well. Not much pain in them, unless attempting to walk.
I've yet to figure it out. I've combed through the information on the internet - the possibilities seem endless as to what could be the true culprit. I need tests. My initial thought was, "why bother, there's no cure". My way of thinking is swiftly changing to "must have tests to see how much of this is to be permanent, where the culprit is that initiated this malady".
Having joined a support group, I have not found the comfort in numbers as of yet. I am even more frightened by the thing that continues to wreak havoc on my body. The fine folks of the group are praying for me, as well as many others. I don't think the power of prayer will solve this. If it did, why are there so many suffering from various degrees of it?
Smoking is not good for it, perhaps the reason for it's quick as wildfire spread? While puny with the crash'n burn from the gut, the smell and taste of cigarettes nauseated me, I might have smoked 3 or 4 per day. After that passed, I've already escalated back up to my pack per day. Nicotine apparently is a blood vessel constrictor, not a good thing with neuropathies.
The other culprit could be the sodas I consume. This too wasn't a problem while ill with the gut. One sip and I'd get sick to my stomach. Being back up to 3 or 4 a day the past week could be aggrevating it.
Geesh, really? First no gluten (celiac).... then low fat (crohn's) and now no smoking or sodas (refined sugars at all if one wants to get technical)? Is it possible to completely redefine ones eating, drinking and smoking habits in such a short period of time? I am in dismay at the moment. Feeling great self pity at the things I shouldn't consume into my body.
What a horrid monkey my being has become!
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